Kim Jong Il Goes to Dollywood for Date Night !!!
Not to be outdone by the Obamas, North Korea’s Kim Jong-il, his wife Kim Young-suk and his three mistresses snuck out to Dollywood in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee, for a date night.
“We look forward to riding the Dizzy Disk, the Lucky Ducky, and the Piggy Parade,” said Kim Jong-il as he entered the park, “Then we’ll catch a show at the Southern Gospel Museum and Hall of Fame. After that, I’m looking forward to a little Kim Young-suk time, if you know what I mean. Come on ladies. Let’s get moving to the rides or else I’ll test a nuke on you, ha ha ha!”
The Jong-il entourage was seen throughout the park, including the Dreamland Forest, Dolly’s Demolition Derby and the legendary Tennessee Tornado roller coaster. Unconfirmed reports indicated that Jong-il managed to win a ‘cupie doll’ for one of his mistresses, but later elected to keep it for himself, claiming she wasn’t good enough for ‘Little Kim-Kim.’
As the park closed, the entourage of North Korean nobility wasn’t ready to call it a night, so the date continued – at a nearby Wal-Mart.
“We are going camping!” said Kim Jong-il as a greeter welcomed him to the Pigeon Forge Wal-Mart, “Clear all Americans away from the tent section! Clear them away now and have the manager bring us fresh Kimchee! Chop Chop!”
The events that followed drew the ire of late-night Wal-Mart customers as security was forced to close off the entire sporting goods section of the store while Kim Jong-il and his mistresses roasted marshmallows and played some game that involved the words “I nuke you!” and lots of giggling.
“Well, I think it’s great that the Jong-ils had a fun night out,” said gossip blogger Perez Hilton, “They’re just like us, after all, aren’t they? It’s their time to shine, so let them shine a little bit! They are so cute, I could just soak them up and spread them all over me!”
Others were critical of the Jong-ils for vacationing at such a difficult time.
“Should he really be wasting so much taxpayer money on this frivolous crap while the economy is in the tank?” said Senator Mitch McConnell, “Come to think of it, he probably should. As a matter of fact, shouldn’t we have shot him or something while he was here? Did anybody know about this? Is this even plausible? What about the mistresses? Were they hot?”
Added McConnell, “I think I might have to take up binge drinking.”
“We look forward to riding the Dizzy Disk, the Lucky Ducky, and the Piggy Parade,” said Kim Jong-il as he entered the park, “Then we’ll catch a show at the Southern Gospel Museum and Hall of Fame. After that, I’m looking forward to a little Kim Young-suk time, if you know what I mean. Come on ladies. Let’s get moving to the rides or else I’ll test a nuke on you, ha ha ha!”
The Jong-il entourage was seen throughout the park, including the Dreamland Forest, Dolly’s Demolition Derby and the legendary Tennessee Tornado roller coaster. Unconfirmed reports indicated that Jong-il managed to win a ‘cupie doll’ for one of his mistresses, but later elected to keep it for himself, claiming she wasn’t good enough for ‘Little Kim-Kim.’
As the park closed, the entourage of North Korean nobility wasn’t ready to call it a night, so the date continued – at a nearby Wal-Mart.
“We are going camping!” said Kim Jong-il as a greeter welcomed him to the Pigeon Forge Wal-Mart, “Clear all Americans away from the tent section! Clear them away now and have the manager bring us fresh Kimchee! Chop Chop!”
The events that followed drew the ire of late-night Wal-Mart customers as security was forced to close off the entire sporting goods section of the store while Kim Jong-il and his mistresses roasted marshmallows and played some game that involved the words “I nuke you!” and lots of giggling.
“Well, I think it’s great that the Jong-ils had a fun night out,” said gossip blogger Perez Hilton, “They’re just like us, after all, aren’t they? It’s their time to shine, so let them shine a little bit! They are so cute, I could just soak them up and spread them all over me!”
Others were critical of the Jong-ils for vacationing at such a difficult time.
“Should he really be wasting so much taxpayer money on this frivolous crap while the economy is in the tank?” said Senator Mitch McConnell, “Come to think of it, he probably should. As a matter of fact, shouldn’t we have shot him or something while he was here? Did anybody know about this? Is this even plausible? What about the mistresses? Were they hot?”
Added McConnell, “I think I might have to take up binge drinking.”
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